90% Cow 10% Human

A cow’s journey towards enlightenment. Moo?

Archive for Life

Rare Stuff

Its me in that picture. Scary.

Meoww

Your results:
You are Catwoman

Catwoman
100%
The Flash
80%
Green Lantern
70%
Iron Man
70%
Superman
50%
Batman
50%
Robin
50%
Hulk
50%
Spider-Man
40%
Supergirl
30%
Wonder Woman
20%
You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society’s cast-offs.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

United

I breathe and bleed Man Utd. I still remember the very first time I watch a football game, year 1997 at my grandparents place. As a young kid and not knowing much about football, my grandpa became one of the biggest influences, he thought me about the rules of the game and he was a true blue Man Utd fan.

I guess after all grandpa played a great roll in my relationship with Man Utd. Since the very first time I showed the slightest interest in football, he has been telling me stories about all the Man Utd greats such as George Best, on how the Northern Ireland wizard torture its opponents by weaving in an out defenses. Very much like how our modern cult hero Ryan Giggs does it. He is always so enthusiastic when we talk about Man Utd and I guess there is where I got the Man Utd bug from.

My all time favorite Man Utd player is definitely the king Eric Cantona. Shirt tuck out, collar fold upwards. His presence on the pitch alone just changes the entire game, players work harder, opponent breaks out in cold sweat and his leadership capability is definitely unquestionable. His playing style is probably why he made such an impact, a zero nonsense footballer no fancy pansy stuff. Although I’ve watched him played for only a season it was good enough to show me what level of class a player he his.

Supporting a club like Man Utd for more then half of my life has been a blessing, memories like the treble winning season is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I really do hope Man Utd continue playing well this season. Common lads bring the Premiership back to home, where it always belongs.

Glory glory Man United…
Glory glory Man United
Glory glory Man United
And the Reds go marching ON, ON, ON!

Bless

I finally feel whole again. I haven’t felt His presence in me for quite sometime but at this very morning I feel rejuvenated and blessed.

I bow before your holy Temple as I worship. I will give thanks to your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness, because your promises are backed by all the honor of your name.

Psalm 138:2 NLT

 

Flashback – Day 1

After 9 hours of flying from Singapore, I have finally arrived at Melbourne, excited yet sad by the fact that Sarah is not here with me. Walking through the immigration gates reminds me so much of the time I spend with her in Hong Kong. Although the trip was short we enjoy the moment so much, sight seeing, shopping, eating and the best part each and other’s presence. I wanted her so badly to be with me there and there. Checking out from the immigration feeling dejected, counting the days till I head back.

The trip from the airport to the hotel was quite a long journey, looking at the surroundings reminds me so much of the last time I was down here and how much it has changed since then. The decorations on the side of the road really caught my eyes, long erected, spiral, colorful beams. I think the tour guide was saying something like the purpose of the decoration was to distract attention from the all the concrete surrounding that area. Something simple yet plays such an important role.

We finally arrived at the hotel located on Flinders St. The cool Melbourne breeze was blowing furiously that morning, I absolutely love it. For once I could walk under the sun not worrying about how the blazing heat is killing my skin. I was born with a very poor skin condition, heat causes my skin to break out in rashes and it’s a scary scene. While walking around town searching for lunch I discovered a strange looking UFO light installation in tiny Lingham Lane, adjoining to Flinders Lane.

The artwork is entitled Life Coach. Step into the glowing circle of color and an even stranger audio clip starts playing. We stood there trying to figure out what it was trying to deliver. It’s hard to decipher what the female voice was saying above the pandemonium of the traffic and passer-by. After doing some searching on the net, I found out that Life Coach is the creation of artists Hugh Covill, Bruce Gladwin and Rhian Hinkley for Melbourne City Council’s laneway commissions’ project. The project aims to enliven the many lanes of Melbourne with contemporary artworks that draws the busy urbanite into taking a different route. Life Coach, with its column of lights flashing an enticing invitation from the main street, attracts a steady stream of city types to its self-help service.

All the nook and cranny around town was full with beautiful art pieces especially at Hosier Lane where you will find street art of all descriptions. Walking around Flinders Lane alone was really an eye opener and this was just the first day, I could sense better things coming my way. I had lunch at a small sandwich joint then I did more exploring of the town. Walking from China Town to Crown, I think I pretty much covered the town area that first day. Looking at the buildings architecture, I knew Sarah would love it here. She has always been a big fan of the Victorian. Seeing all the things she likes makes me miss her so much.

Headed back to the Hotel to find out that there will be three dudes squeezing into a room, I was extremely upset because I had paid the same amount as the rest and most of them were put in doubles and the question of comfort was seriously irritating me. I don’t really know about how the other dudes felt but I clearly showed them that I was unhappy to be squeeze into such a small space. Complaints to the lecturer felt on deaf ears because at the end of the day we still had to be squeeze. My friend gave me a buzz later that day saying that she will pick me up for dinner.

We headed to Lygon St, where Italian food was at its best. Lygon St is like a mini Italy, the surroundings was filled head to toe with Italian cuisines. I ate one of the biggest pasta servings in my life that night and the best part it was extremely cheap for a mere 10AUD I got a serving that could feed a little army. As this trip was during the Germany World Cup, we then adjourned to my friends place for some football action. It was around 5am Australian time when I got back to the hotel, I was too exhausted to complain about the room I just tuck myself under the blanket and felt into a deep sleep.

Sorry

Since the beginning of the semester my life has been in a real mess, my priorities were all haywire I was putting my friends ahead of everything education, family and the most important thing Sarah. Our relationship was getting worst by the day. Everyday seems to bring us further and further apart. At one point I actually gave up on the relationship, everything seems so impossible to patch up. It was like watching a terminal cancer patient fighting for his or her life. It was a war that we will never win.

I have known Sarah since I was 9. From the very first moment I saw her I was instantaneously mesmerized by her. All the small chats we had in school were some of the baby steps towards our great relationship. When we were 11 we got to know each and other much better, talking on the phone for hours has become a norm. I was in love with her but I just didn’t have the courage to tell her.

At 11 many question the “love” factor. I know it was love not just any infatuations, I love how the way she laughs, I love how her hair smells so nice and there were so many things that made her just so extremely attractive to me. Once incident that I remembers till this day were the one spent at “Canteen Day”, we spend the whole day together talking, playing and the greatest moment was when she wore my cap. My cap has always been a very personal item of mine for her to wear it was indescribable.

When we were 12 we drifted a part slightly she was probably embarrassed that kids at school was teasing us or she was just concentrating to do well for the final examination. We didn’t talk as much during that year, everything was a blur for a moment I thought I lost her but after the final examination things started to pick up from where we left. I still remember that very conversation that I confess my love for her. If I am not mistaken we were talking about some kids liking who and who and then I pop the question at her or she pop the question at me, can’t really remember the sequence but that is when we actually told each other then we have feelings for each and other.

It was pure ecstasy. I finally knew that she loves me. This is the beginning to our very fairytale love life. From that very period of courtship till the day we confess our love, Sarah and I have manage to love each and other for 8 years and I was about to give up on that 8 years of endless wonderful memories for my friends that I have known for a mere month. Judge, curse, condemn me all you want. The relationship was dying, the once so called eternal flames was being extinguish. Is this the ending to us?

Something was eating inside me, my love for Sarah has totally vanished I dreaded to see her because all we do is argue and I hated it so much. I wanted everything to stop, the argument, the love, the commitment, I just wanted everything to end so badly. The words that she wrote on her diary made me tear. I knew there was no return. The fairytale is coming to an end. Everyone who knows us knew that something was not going right. I was too consumed up by my friends. I didn’t see anything wrong in their doings.

Things just didn’t get any better. It was like a nightmare that had no ending. I had to make a choice between Sarah and them. Questions after questions I couldn’t believe that I for once lost control of my actions. I hated all this shit, I kept everything to myself. I lost my faith in praying, I knew this is one mess that only I can save myself from. I keep on telling myself that I can balance this shit I can spend time with Sarah and also spend time with my friends but by the looks of it I was losing the balance I breath my friends air more then I spend time sleeping on the same bed with Sarah.

The monster inside me has consumed me up totally. The final straw was when I left Sarah and my sister in Singapore and head back to Malaysia with my friends, many things happen during that trip that woke me up. I couldn’t believe I gave up my life for this Brady Bunch. I was angry at myself but I know it was just too late to do anything, I’ve pushed Sarah so far away and she was going to leave me. I put on a brave face in front of my family. I sense my mom knew something was not right because I had never left Sarah alone before.

Reading all the letters she wrote for me during our 8 years put a bigger dent in my heart. We’ve been through so much. We worked so hard to keep this relationship a reality and I was blowing everything away. I lost Sarah once and I couldn’t believe that I am going to lose her again. The love of my life was going to leave me. All our dreams of marriage, growing old together, gone in a puff. The more I thought about it, tears start to roll down profusely, every drop represents a dream that I shared with Sarah. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was, I wanted to hold her so tight and die in her arms begging her to not let me go. I have lost all hope, I have lost Sarah.

I dread the journey back to Singapore. I didn’t know how to face her. I wanted so badly to tell her I was truly sorry but when I finally did get to see her I just totally blank out. It just made matter worst she felt that I didn’t care about the anything. My head was like a vortex, everything was such a blur. It was the longest night of my life, seeing Sarah cry broke my heart even more but I just couldn’t find the words to comfort her. The ending was near I could sense it. The past 8 years flash by my eyes.

I’m not here to say I’m sorry,
I’m not here to lie to you,
I’m here to say I’m ready,
That I’ve finally thought it through,
I’m not here to let you’re love go,
I’m not giving up oh no,
I’m here to win your heart and soul,
That’s my goal.

Please don’t go,
You know that I need you,
And can’t breath without you,
Live without you,
Be without you,
Well I know I’ve acted foolish,
But i promise you no more,
Well i won’t stop believing,
That we will be leaving together,
So when I say i love you,
I mean it forever and ever,
ever and ever….

I love Sarah so much and I am not doing anything to stop her from leaving. She gave in to me so much that night asking me what’s wrong. I look down at my feet, lost for words. I didn’t know what to say. All I could do was nod my head. Is this really the end?

Flashback Part 1

Leaving Sarah for Australia broke my heart in so many ways. The thought of not spending time with her was like the alpha omega putting a mute on my swearing. I try to put on a brave face throughout the entire time but after seeing my very beautiful love of my life heading up the lift I broke down like a baby got its pacifier snatch. I have known and love Sarah for almost half my life we do almost everything together. …….. Fast forward the entire mushy stuff conclusion I love Sarah so much that I can’t live without seeing her even for a second. I definitely made it through the journey calling her a few times a day seeing things that reminds me of her just made things much easier. Everyday was a countdown to the day I return. Although it was only 7 days of separation to me it was more like being a cow without milk, all empty. I miss her so much. I may not express my love for her like eabe and gem (oozing with LUV) but deep down inside I love her so much that I know I can’t live without her.